Can Old Dogs Teach Us New Tricks?

When Dogs Roamed the Streets

When I was a kid, my dad had a blind Mexican Hairless named Squeegee who roamed our neighborhood unaffected by his lack of sight. Because I grew up with movies like Lassie and Lady and the Tramp, Squeegee was not my idea of a real dog. Not only was Squeegee bald and blind but he was also deaf, his wrinkled skin felt course to the touch, and truth be told this funny looking little guy could care less about any of us. He only had eyes (pun intended) for my dad. My father was a strong and powerful fellow who endured a lot in life. But on the day Squeegee died at age 19, my dad’s heart broke, proving yet again, a dog’s love is a magnificent thing whatever that dog looks like and whatever their age.

The Mirror Has Two Faces

I’ve been fortunate to share the majority of my life with many canines but none have taught me as much about aging than the two dogs I share my home with now. Rudy, a chocolate lab mix is 14 -1/2 and Dakota, a black chow mix is 17; both came into my life as rescue puppies.

If you really want to know who you are, get a dog. Living day after day with a dog is like looking in the mirror; they reflect back at you emotions you don’t even know you are experiencing. Countless times a look in Dakota’s eyes has made me realize I’m getting impatient and I need a timeout. Rudy sighs deeply and loudly whenever I get overly stressed. And many a time a nose nudge on my knee has broken my concentration and reminded me that playing can often prove more productive than staring at a computer screen. Although now in their later years Rudy is having neurological issues and Dakota is having seizures, these two beings continue to be my teachers.

So what’s my day like taking care of two old friends? It’s a lot like taking care of an aging human – clean up in the morning, creative attempts to get them to eat to keep up their strength, building up my own strength by lifting them up when they can’t manage steps, exercising their joints with massage, making sure they are comfortable throughout the day, and cleaning up again at night. Often, in the middle of the night, my dogs don’t even know they need cleaning up. But it’s amazing how sharp my sense of smell has become as funny odors immediately wake me up even out of a sound sleep.

Truth be told, I haven’t really had a good night’s sleep since January. But the way I see it, I’m sacrificing sleep for the opportunity to learn something deeper about myself, about life, and about love. And being of service to two friends who have taught me so much about moving through life with grace, gratitude, and pawsitivity is invaluable.  I also can’t exactly forget that my animal friends have inspired my award-winning book, Dog as My Doctor, Cat as My Nurse. And once you see my new book, Paws for the Good Stuff, you will understand how much deeper we can take our connections with our fabulous animal friends – at whatever stage of life they are.

What The Experts Tell Me

When will I know it’s time to say goodbye? I’ve asked this question to several vets and other experts who say that it’s not always just one thing that answers this question but instead, it can be a combo of the following….

1. When they stop eating
2. When they no longer have bowel control
3. When they become incontinent
4. When they are in too much pain
5. When they no longer want to do the one thing they love the most

Sometimes, I find myself feeling the weight of the inevitable loss of my dogs. I also know that one day, I may be in the same boat; I’ll walk too slowly, I may not be able to make it to the bathroom on time, I may spend sleepless nights wandering from room to room or I may even walk out of my house not sure where I’m going. I hope when this time comes, whoever is caring for me will be patient, understanding, and kind.

The One Thing They Love the Most

The thing my dogs loved to do most – walking – is something they can hardly do anymore. Walking and hiking are how my dogs and I bonded with each other. Dakota has stopped going on walks altogether and Rudy is barely making it to the end of the block. His enthusiasm is there, but his legs and weak back don’t match it.

Recently as I questioned whether “it was time,” I experienced a profound realization that filled my heart in a life-affirming way. Although we’ve come face to face with many of the items on the “when to say goodbye list,” and Rudy and Dakota are no longer walking as they once did, neither of my dogs shows any sign of wanting to leave this world. That’s when it dawned on me that what Rudy and Dakota love the most, goes beyond walking. I believe that what fills their life and their heart is – our connection to each other. And as long as this connection exists, I will relish our time together even if it consists of sleepless nights and cleaning up dog poop. This unique, profound, and powerful connection is a gift I will treasure eternally even when they, my dearest friends, are no longer here.

Stay pawsitive,

Carlyn MDO

Ps: Guess what? My TEDx Talk is back on the books! I’ll be talking about The Life-Changing Power of the Animal-Human Health Connection in Wilmington, Delaware on Sept 27. 

Carlyn Montes De Oca is the founder of The Animal-Human Health Connection. Through her books and speaking engagements, Carlyn is working to have the greatest pawsitive effect on the lives of animals and the humans who love them. She is the author of Dog as My Doctor, Cat as My Nurse and the upcoming book Paws for the Good Stuff: a dog lover’s journal for living a healthier and more pawsitive life. Carlyn has been featured on CBS, ABC, The San Francisco Chronicle, AARP, and other media. Connect with her at AnimalHumanHealth.com.