If you thought I dropped off the planet…. I kind of did.
2019, was a life-changing year for me in a way that I never would have imagined. I don’t want to leave you in suspense, but suffice it to say, I will be sharing more about that with you in the coming months.
One life-changing event that I can share is that in late 2018 and early 2019, I said goodbye to the last two members of my 6-pack; my beloved six rescue dogs and cats who inspired my health and wellness book, Dog as My Doctor, Cat as my Nurse. Without Teddy, Roxy, Rudy, Dakota, Jester, and Cody, I would not have realized my dream of becoming a #1 Amazon bestselling and award-winning author, giving a TEDx Wilmington Talk would have felt like an unattainable goal, and a book tour would have been something some another lucky author got to do – but not me.
After Rudy passed away last January, I wanted to adopt a rescue dog or cat right away but my husband, Ken, needed a break. Having recently moved from Northern California to Santa Fe, New Mexico, Ken wanted some time on our own. I didn’t like the idea of waiting but I understood how he felt. So, in my mind, I gave him a year.
When January 1, 2020, rolled around, the first thing I did was to sit down and create a vision board. Instead of cutting pictures out of magazines, I collected images off the internet and pasted them digitally onto a white palette using Canva. In two hours, my board was filled with the titles of my future books, images to support my health and wellbeing, and power words to inspire me for the next 365 days. At the top of my board, I placed a picture of a dog and the name Grace underneath it. Then I took a deep breath, put down my laptop, gave myself a pep talk, and said to my unsuspecting husband sitting on the couch, “Ken, there’s something I need to talk to you about.”
For the next ten minutes, Ken and I allowed each other to say everything we needed to say about adopting another animal companion. After a year of waiting, getting a dog was a hot topic for me. I knew that I could be reactive to anything that Ken said to oppose it, but instead of reacting, I listened. Finally, when we shared all we needed to say and there were only looks to be had, Ken said the most wonderful word I have ever heard – Ok. My response was to burst out crying; I was so relieved and overjoyed. I don’t think Ken was prepared for what I said next. Frankly, neither was I. “There’s an older dog at a rescue who needs a home…,” I said. Ten days later, Grace came to stay.
What to Do When You Want a Dog or a Cat But Your Partner Doesn’t
- Be Willing to Hear Before Insisting on Being Heard – Instead of getting frustrated or yelling, hear your partner out. Letting someone get their feelings off their chest is a powerful way to connect with them and for you to ultimately be heard.
- Share the Benefits of Animal Companionship – Pets keep us active, are good for our overall wellbeing, and studies show they help us live longer. What other reasons can you come up with to be persuasive?
- Be Ready to Address Concerns – You probably already know your partners’ reservations so write them out and think about a calm response to each of them.
- No, for Now, Doesn’t Mean No Forever – If you’ve just lost your animal friend, your partner may not be ready for a new one just yet. After all, we don’t replace a parent, a friend, or a loved one overnight. Give them some time, talk about your loss together, then try again.
- Take Your Significant Other on a Date – to a shelter. Volunteer with your partner at an animal rescue. It’s hard to say No when there are cute dogs and purring cats filling you with love and who need a forever home.
Our new rescue dog Grace suffered through a difficult past. Yet in the few days she’s lived with us, she is letting go of her fears, trusting us more, and thriving. I love her and very importantly – Ken is loving her too.
I look forward to sharing more about our Amazing Grace with you in 2020.
Stay Pawsitive,
Carlyn MDO
PS: If your partner was resistant to having an animal companion, what did you say to change their mind? Please share your thoughts in the comment box below.
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Hi Carlyn,
Two of our 9 rescues were a bit of a challenge for my husband to accept. We had just lost my “special” dog, Mia and knew we needed another to keep Cara company. We went to a Lab rescue event and I saw “Mama Mia”. She was so pathetic with many teats almost hanging to the ground. I knew no one would adopt her in that condition, so I gravitated to her and pulled my husband over to her. When he saw her, even though he didn’t think we needed another dog, she became a shoe in. She is now our “Molly”. Not too long after, work was slow, so I decided to volunteer at our San Diego county shelter with the cats. I knew it would probably be a BAD decision, but was so pleasantly surprised to see that all but one of the cats I saw were in beautiful shape. Once again, I gravitated to “Alice”, who I was shocked to see in the public area. She was more than pathetic; dirty, non responsive to touch, bad skin, and not eating. My heart broke when I’d always visit her. I went home and said we HAVE to adopt her – you have to meet her. He said no, but off we went. He met her, was not impressed. I proceeded to ask more about her – first they said she was 10, then said 12 and both people kept asking me if I still wanted her, I said I wanted her more, because of that. The vet came out and said her skin was bad, and do I still want her. I SAID YES I WANT HER. He agreed finally, but made me stop volunteering there and I agreed! One month later she was beautiful – soft fur and skin, eating like a little piggy and even had white on her that I couldn’t see before she cleaned herself up! She is definitely MY baby and is one of my favorites ever! We’ve had her for 3 years, and after taking her to our vet when we got her and asking him how old he thought she was, he said about 5! We figured we’d give her a few last wonderful years – so now we’ll have lots more years with her! YEA!
Carol! So sorry that I didn’t reply earlier, I’m afraid I didn’t see your comment. But now, I’m glad I did. What a wonderful story! I love that you gravitate towards the animals most in need and you seem to inspire your husband to do the same. It’s funny that the vet made you stop volunteering:) Thx again for sharing and proving once again that every animal deserves a second chance at love and life!