Over the next few months, I’m adding the finishing touches to my upcoming book. Junkyard Dog…a rescue story is a personal memoir revealing how I unintentionally discovered I was adopted through a DNA test and how I dealt with the aftermath of this secret.
Illness, the death of a loved one, divorce–these are common struggles humans often share. I’ve experienced each personally but none of these challenges had shaken me as deeply as discovering I wasn’t who I thought I was.
After I received my DNA results…
A woman, I did not know, reached out to me through an email. It later turned out she was my biological half-sister looking for family. Soon after, my adoptive siblings revealed the truth.
According to my family, my mother had gone to visit a friend and as she knocked on her door, she heard a woman crying. When her friend came to the door she said, “Yeah, that’s my cousin visiting from Chicago. She’s not married, has two young children with her and a third one on the way. She wants me to help her get an abortion but I’m not going to do that no matter how much she cries.”
At this point my mother went home and spoke with my father. Later she returned to her friend’s house and told the visitor something extraordinary – that my father and mother would raise her unborn child-me.
My parents were not wealthy people and had three children of their own. Regardless, they took this pregnant stranger and her two children to live with them until my mother gave birth. Once she recovered enough to travel, my parents gave her the means to buy tickets on a bus bound for Chicago with her two children.
The year was 1961. A time when a solid stigma existed against children born out of wedlock. My parents didn’t want that mark to overshadow my life. So, they took my brothers and sister aside, telling them never to reveal the truth. Their job was to protect me from the scrutiny of others; a job they performed with flying colors until a couple of years ago I got curious. My curiosity led me to take a DNA test to find out how much Spanish, Portuguese and Jewish blood was in my lineage. I never thought I’d discover my parents were not mine by birth. Or that the beloved siblings I grew up with were not blood related.
Junkyard Dog is a coming-of-age story
Even though I was fifty-seven when the news of my adoption broke, I grew up fast that year as I swam through waters of sadness, grief, loss, and anger. When I reached the other side I felt grateful, intact, and stronger than before. The truth does set you free–just not in ways you might expect.
There is much more to this story. From meeting a half-sister I hadn’t a clue even existed to three weeks later taking a flight to Chicago and meeting my birth mother who died three months later. But perhaps the greatest gift came from knowing my parents, who passed away over a decade ago, in a new way. Through interviews with older relatives and several of my sixty-three first cousins (most already knew I was adopted), I came to a greater understanding of the depth of my parent’s love.
When I first learned my origin story, I was dog-less; Dakota and Rudy passed away just before the news broke. Much of my wellbeing emanates from my deep connection to my animal companions, so it was especially hard to be without their companionship during that time. But today I have Grace, who, like me, was also adopted. Grace is by my side, comforting and unconditionally loving, when the rogue waves hit me out of nowhere. Sadness, grief, and loss; emotions I thought I already processed in full, re-surge with a new vengeance when I least expect it. But fortunately, I know they will pass; I am still here; I am loved.
Stay healthy & stay pawsitive,
💜 Carlyn MDO
PS: This was a particularly emotional blog to write so I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comment box below.
Oh Carolyn, what a blessed story you have to tell. God has given you this life to share. You will help many. He is our adoptive Father and he’s given you a picture of that unconditional love through your parents. You were chosen. We are chosen, just needing to accept his love.
I so look forward to reading this part of your journey in your new book. I believe this is truly amazing grace!
Hugs!
Amazing Grace….that’s actually what I call my dog. I love that word – Grace. Somebody told me, after they heard this story, that it seemed like the divine hand was at play in my life. Now that I’m aware of all that went down, I think it was.
It’s great that you got to meet your biological mim, Carlyn. And, it’s great that you grew up feeling loved.
It was a shocker to meet my bio mom. the whole thing still feels so surreal. I grew up loved but I didn’t know the depth of it until all this was revealed.
Thx for sharing your thoughts:)
Carlyn my heart goes out to you. I read your story with tears streaming down my face. You are truly inspirational and I’m so glad that you have got through all that trauma. Yes you still have bad days but we all do. Good luck to you in all your endeavors and lots of love xxx
Thx for your generous and kind words, Lynn. It is still surprising to me when people tell me how emotional they get when they hear this story. It serves to remind me how powerful it is. Have an awesome day!
Look forward to your new book. Also, will share some of my story with you in the future, as I feel only thru shared life experiences, can we truly understand this roller-coaster that is life. Without the ups and downs, you would not be the wonderful true whole-being that you are. Much love to you. Eva
You’re right about how sharing our life experiences helps us grow and realize we are not alone. As scary as it is to rush down that roller coaster, it sure feels invigorating to make your way up again. I look forward to hearing your story, Eva.
Oh, Carlyn. What a story, and what you must have gone through. My heart goes out to you. I am very happy and relieved to know that you’ve come through the grief and shock and that you are a stronger and happier woman. And to know you have a furry companion to help you when your feelings overwhelm you. I look forward to reading about your journey.
Thanks Genny. It was quite a challenging year, that is for sure. But like they say, the universe only gives you what it thinks you can handle. I’m glad to be on this side of things. Thx for all you love:)
Wow! What an amazing, poignant, and powerful story. I look forward to reading ‘Junkyard Dog.’ Your story reminds me of reading Walter Isaacson’s biography of Steve Jobs, who struggled with the fact that he was not raised by his biological parents. He came to understand that the man and woman who raised him from birth, and who bestowed love every day, were really his parents, even though they didn’t conceive him.
Hoping you and Ken are doing well.
Hey Hank! Great to hear from you. Yes, I can relate to Steve Jobs’struggle. I never would have believed in a million years I’d be going through this turn of events but life is unpredictable that way, isn’t it? We are doing great and hope you and your family, 2 & 4 legged are well too!
I look forward to reading the book!! Hard to imagine getting that information at this stage of life. Wow.
Hey Rich! Sorry it took a while to respond, for some reason I didn’t see this until today. Yes, getting that information was quite a shocker! I think you’ll like the book…I definitely talk about high school:)