How Our Relationship Got a Reboot—And How Yours Can Too!

Like many couples during the Covid-19 pandemic, my husband Ken and I spent a lot of time together. But regardless of how much you may love someone, or how happy you feel you are together, a healthy relationship can use a boost now and again – just like the one Ken and I recently experienced.

Willing To Be – 30 Days and Counting

It all began with an inspiring phone call from my stepson, Greg, who spoke with Ken about his personal development journey. After their talk, I noticed Ken was seeing the world differently. Notably, he was looking at the world with a beginner’s mind; as though he was seeing things for the first time. That’s when I hopped onboard and suggested we do something similar for thirty days—together. 

For the last three weeks, Ken and I have been paying attention, taking stock, and appreciating the many things around us and inside us. Then every night, we check-in with each other on what we noticed and share the one thing that improved our life during the day. It might be; observing an unusual cloud formation on a hike, or trying out a new yoga routine, or being mindful of a thought or feeling. Over time, these little check-ins, the opportunity to share our truth, and listen to what the other person offers – have reaped immense rewards. Ken focuses on bringing more play into his everyday activities and having more fun. As a result, he feels more joyful and calls the experience a life-changer.

One of my biggest take-aways is a greater sense of freedom. Although personal development is something I prioritize, I hadn’t realized until now all the unconscious ways I’ve kept myself from being fully alive. Letting things pass and not speaking up about them, talking myself out of doing something, and realizing long-held thought patterns that no longer serve me, are a few of the ways I didn’t realize I was still limiting myself. Catching these blocks, addressing them, and not judging myself, feels like dropping shackles I wasn’t aware I was dragging.

Both Ken and I agree that doing just one thing differently every day, like walking down a new trail, calling an old friend, and getting out of our comfort zones, adds a dash of spice to our lives. By tuning into this mindful space and sharing our thoughts, we’ve become more supportive of each other, better friends, and like Ken, my joy factor is sky high.

Our Relationship Guru

Every night, when we get together for our Relationship Rendezvous, we aren’t alone. Our dog Grace hops onto the bed and plops down between us. While we talk about our thirty-day challenge, we stroke her, massage her chest, and smile – a lot. Grace opens our hearts and helps us be more vulnerable with each other. She also gets us laughing and encourages silliness; both qualities that benefit mind, body and spirit health. Nearly two years ago, Grace was a fearful rescue dog in need of a second chance. But the more love we give her, the more she thrives. And so do we.

If you’d like to reboot your relationship with a partner or a friend, consider what you might do in the New Year to nurture that bond. It doesn’t need to be time intensive, it can take place at any time of day, and you can customize it to suit you. Any amateur gardener can tell you plants at all stages need care. Relationships require similar nourishment. To stoke the flames, I recommend committing to thirty days of willing to just be with your partner and sharing the one thing that improved your life that day. If you can get your dog or cat to take part in this powerful experience – even better.

Stay Pawsitive,

Carlyn 💜

PS: What one thing can you do more mindfully that you know will improve your life?

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